Full Moon in Virgo

Blessed Full Moon in Virgo!

It is a great time to look at our work--our soul work, or our jobby job. We have to find that spiritual fulfillment there, and if not, this full moon can help us balancing what our vision of work is supposed to be.

Also, Saturn is moving into Pisces, y'all. I mean, like Saturn is all about structures, and Pisces is very watery and mutable, so what does that look like? No idea. But weird, I imagine. Flowy. We have some years to get used to it. But I imagine we about to get in our feels, yo. And especially around our structures. This could technically be the Age of Aquarius, or the Age of Water.

Since 2017, Saturn has been in its own planets (Capricorn and Aquarius), now it is going to butt heads with our resident empath Pisces, the co-dependent nurturer and indulger. It's going to be a trip, but instead of getting in yo head about it, just enjoy organizing your pantry and color-coordinating your filing system with Virgo's Full Moon, and while you are at it, honor the people you are of service to. They love you! #themoonandstone #fullmooninvirgo

Time, the Destroyer

Dear Time Bandits,

My Shamanic teacher once said during a business coaching call, “if I can give you one piece of advice.” I paused. This nugget will be magick, I thought. “Everything is going to take you two to three times longer than you think it will.”

At the time, I didn’t think that was so insightful. I used to be good at time management, but now, I realize it is the best bit of advice…schedule things 2-3 times longer than you expect. Set expectations low. You know how the Two of Pentacles shows a guy juggling everything and looking slick, but when he is reversed everything falls everywhere and the illusion of having it together is totally gone? Yeah, that is me right now. Reversed. Everything is taking me soooo long. Am I in slo-mo, or am I practicing more self-care and thus cannot get as much done? 

Maybe choice 2, but also a little of both.

In the end, the time thing is a big deal. I unwind my programming around time. Like a kitten with yarn, it is just a big tangled mess, weaving in and around the house, knotting and fraying, and my potted plants are suffering. When I was a kid, my mother was always late. We used to call it Panamanian Standard Time-15 minutes after start time. As an adult, lateness gives  me agita. I start to freak out and stress everyone out. As my youngest says tearing up, "Stop hurrying, mama." Then I am early and sit in the car like a crazy person waiting for someone else to show up so I can look normal.

What do I feel about time now? I can give you a thousand examples of time speeding and a thousand more of it being slow and plodding this last year. I cried because there wasn't enough time, and cried when I felt like time was not moving fast enough. When I had cancer, I kept reminding myself that time was an illusion, and I could jump ahead to the good stuff, but I didn't and I couldn't.


Most days, I wake up with ants in my pants and don’t stop moving. My leg bounces all day. I drive fast. I chew my nails.  I stutter and get caught on words because my tongue cannot keep up with my brain. I run into hallway corners because it is wasting my time to follow the giant human size space I am supposed to be walking within. As a middle aged person, I cannot believe how long I have been alive and how fast it all has gone.


But since I was released to my own devices in the work machine, I especially feel like time has been moving so quickly, which I have been moving through mud, losing time when I write and create, think and meditate. The day is gone and my schedule, while full and creative, was not as well-managed as I wanted it to be. Time stalks us. Kyra said in our latest podcast—I don’t think self-sabotage exists…we just have to look at what needs we are neglecting. And maybe I am finally meeting my needs, and that just takes extra minutes in the day. And I want to practice at a slower pace, savoring the moments of magick throughout my life. When I think about time, I also think about mortality. Time is the Goddess of Destruction, Kali. 

I read a post on Facebook that set me right on my ideas of Kali, and of course, changed everything. I used to think Kali was the goddess of Destruction and Justice and Rage. My sacred anger manifest in visions of her revenge. I called her in, worshipped at her altar, especially with my work around healing sexual trauma. She came at an important time, but I totally misunderstood why she came. I thought it was for my anger, but Shivani Hawkins shared this on Facebook a few years ago. I come back to it again and again.

Kālī is not the goddess of anger…She is Śiva's direct power, wisdom, and love. She is the power of meditation. Yes, she is described as an effulgent, luminous darkness because that is in part what the inner world looks like when you are meditating.

Kālī…destroys EVERYTHING, because TIME destroys everything, including the construct of self and existence itself. 

Is that scary? Of course it is. Why do you think you keep avoiding meditation practice?

In her mythology, she first kills off the bad guys (harmful beliefs). Then she kills off the good guys ("good" beliefs). Finally, she even cuts off her own head (Chinnamasta Kālī) because even SHE does not exist. Nothing is spared from her "wrath" (but is it wrath really?) because nothing but beloved Śiva - the supreme Oneness - is real.

Shivani’s powerful post unlocked something in me when I saw it. I have not been praying to Sacred Rage and Destruction. I have been praying to Time and Meditation. I have been praying for the illusions I hold to be made clear, to break down my patterns, to rescue me from me. I have been saying, Dark Mother, Sacred Time, help me see the illusions that keep me in chains. And she responded with lessons:

Your elders grow old, get sick, and die, but so do pets and babies sometimes. Just sit with that.

Your body is impermanent, child. Breasts are used to feed children, but you can still live without them. You can live without a womb. Cancer will show you that. Just sit with that.

You are not your body. Your body will die too one day. It may be tomorrow. We cannot control when or where, but we will all not have a body. Just sit with that.

You, your idea of you, will be destroyed too, because you too are an illusion. You are a result of a million actions and those actions, forgotten and unimportant, will be lost. Just sit with that.

Sit, daughter, sit still and meditate. And when you are not afraid, sit some more.


I sit. Kali destroys because time destroys. Everything is impermanent, except all that is, which we are also part of, even if there isn’t a we.  I have re-engaged the philosophical part of my brain. It is like my day job stopped and my body was like Sit. Contemplate egolessness. Read. Feel small. Move in sacred ways. Sit again. 

Do I have monkey mind? Yes. 

Do I have ants in my pants? Yes. 

Do I open my eyes at five minutes thinking it has been 30? Yes.

Do I still sit? Yes.

I want to share another paragraph of Shivani’s post:

This is full-blown liberation here. Not just freedom from what is harmful to us as mammals in human bodies, but freedom from every thought, concept, and self-construct that exists to separate us from the field of Beingness itself. From the pain of separation itself. She (Kali) is the vehicle of pure mystical union, where only God remains.

The Myth of Separation, Pixie calls it, the idea that we are all different and special and separate from the Earth, from Love, from the Universe. We are all one. And when we accept that, we can heal. When we surrender to time, allow the destruction to be part of us, returning us again to the whole of consciousness, we experience all that is. 

See what I mean about time? My wandering brain explores long forgotten dark tunnels, digging into muscle memory of thinking about thinking, returning from its hibernation into both old and new landscape. I guess that happens when I just sit with it all.

I didn’t mean to say all this. I honestly, just  meant to come in and just say:

I’m back, bitches!

But you know, like I know, I was never really gone. I was working. Sometimes on me. Sometimes just logging miles on the Mami-mobile I have been taking a minute to breathe and think and that is giving me some amazing ideas for offerings. Until then, if you want to connect with me, here is what I am offering:

- Private one-on-one shamanic earth medicine (crystal healing) sessions both in person at Alta View Wellness Center in Harrisburg, PA

- Private one-on-one spiritual counseling tarot sessions both in person at Alta View Wellness Center in Harrisburg, PA

- Private one-on-one distant shamanic earth medicine (crystal healing) sessions through Zoom or recording

 - Private one-on-one spiritual counseling tarot sessions through Zoom or recording

 -  The Moon + Stone Healing Membership which includes
        - Private Membership in our FB Group
        - Collective Readings at the New Moon + Full Moon
        - a monthly shamanic journey
        - Live Circle time with me, community and more in the Moon + Stone Membership group